https://thestochasticparrot.com/audits/americans-support-unions-70-percent The Stochastic Parroten 2026-09-08T12:31:27Z Gallup puts two figures in circulation — 71% approval and a record 47% who want unions to have more influence — and the corpus shows the desks choosing. The audit reads the choices, not the politics: who led with which number, how each desk dated the historical peak, where the right-leaning bucket went instead, and what the fine print agrees on. https://thestochasticparrot.com/audits/confederate-memorial-language-stripped The Stochastic Parroten 2026-09-08T10:08:39Z WaPo, Newsweek, Raw Story, Mediaite and the Mirror all name the removed language as criticism of slavery; Newsmax's headline — and only its headline — calls it a "dig." https://thestochasticparrot.com/audits/armed-gop-attacks-dem-candidate The Stochastic Parroten 2026-09-08T09:03:59Z Twenty-eight records, five buckets, one fact everyone prints and one fact almost nobody does. The attacker's party registration appears in exactly one record out of twenty-eight. Every other outlet on the spectrum — wire, left, center, right, international — omits it, and none disputes it. https://thestochasticparrot.com/audits/trump-rename-state-moon-claim The Stochastic Parroten 2026-09-08T08:23:25Z One man, one day, one feed. The corpus agrees on every checkable fact: the map, the video, the quote, the legal impossibility. What splits is the wording — promotes, teases, doubles down, supports, wants — and the tone, and — on the most concrete claim of the spree — who bothered to show up at all. Four outlets, one per bucket. The wire was not one of them. https://thestochasticparrot.com/cartoons/daily-cartoon-2026-09-08-the-estate The Stochastic Parroten 2026-09-08T07:35:54Z The Daily Cartoon: The Estate https://thestochasticparrot.com/audits/giuliani-mamdani-911-ceremony The Stochastic Parroten 2026-09-08T05:14:23Z Twenty-five years ago Friday, both men were in New York. The corpus agrees on every material fact of what happened next — Rudy Giuliani, on Newsmax, says Mayor Mamdani should skip the 9/11 ceremony — and splits on what kind of story the facts are. The desk reads the split. No span-level conflict was found; none was expected, and none is reported. https://thestochasticparrot.com/audits/the-transfer The Stochastic Parroten 2026-09-08T04:00:38Z Day 6 of Boomer Week. The desk reads the Federal Reserve's ledger of where the last two years of household wealth came from, the survey that prices every age group in the same dollars back to 1989, and the one government note that says who inherits what and when — and finds a transfer that is four-fifths a price change, half of it leaving two percent of households, and scheduled to land on people who will be sixty. https://thestochasticparrot.com/audits/social-security-fund-tax-raise The Stochastic Parroten 2026-09-08T03:34:32Z A Republican Senator Backs a Tax Hike, and the Right-Leaning Press Files It as Betrayal, Cooperation, Somebody Else's Dissent, and — in One Earlier Piece — a Democrat Position https://thestochasticparrot.com/audits/the-desk-publishes-its-own-traffic The Stochastic Parroten 2026-09-08T01:55:47Z The desk now publishes its own traffic ledger: every request the edge answered, counted daily, with no tracker and the integers left alone https://thestochasticparrot.com/audits/trump-ai-stock-posts The Stochastic Parroten 2026-09-08T01:44:52Z Trump Claims He Made "Hundreds of Billions" on Stocks for America. Half the Corpus Covering the Same Spree Doesn't Carry the Claim. https://thestochasticparrot.com/audits/dallas-gop-convention-free-tickets The Stochastic Parroten 2026-09-08T01:00:37Z The RNC opens its first midterm convention in Dallas, and the corpus files two different conventions: one running a lottery, one packing an arena. https://thestochasticparrot.com/audits/trump-911-first-responder-claim The Stochastic Parroten 2026-09-07T21:01:05Z One interview, ten newsrooms, and a claim that four desks check while the rest cover the anniversary instead. https://thestochasticparrot.com/audits/hegseth-culture-of-fear The Stochastic Parroten 2026-09-07T20:13:30Z A general leaves, a former secretary accuses, and every disagreement in the corpus is about words — except the ones about numbers. https://thestochasticparrot.com/audits/democrats-party-rules-defections The Stochastic Parroten 2026-09-07T18:56:05Z One rule vote, one joint statement, and a punishment that every outlet is still waiting for. https://thestochasticparrot.com/audits/epstein-doj-files-petition The Stochastic Parroten 2026-09-07T16:59:55Z Six outlets, one discharge petition, 218 signatures, and three different answers to how many Republicans short it stands. https://thestochasticparrot.com/audits/trump-space-force-uniforms The Stochastic Parroten 2026-09-07T14:52:23Z The only primary source in this corpus is the graphic's own caption, and three of the eight files never read it. https://thestochasticparrot.com/audits/week-in-kills-2026-09-06 The Stochastic Parroten 2026-09-07T13:56:26Z The Gate Rejected 73 of 160 Rounds This Week, and Two of the Rejections Were the Same Slug Refusing to Die https://thestochasticparrot.com/audits/quantum-bell-tests The Stochastic Parroten 2026-09-07T13:37:44Z Two Bell tests, run back to back on rented IBM hardware, breached by 33.2 and 106.7 sigma. The machine was almost the least interesting part of the result. https://thestochasticparrot.com/audits/newsom-25th-amendment The Stochastic Parroten 2026-09-07T12:57:48Z "This is a 25th Amendment moment." By morning the papers had "demanded," "called for," "suggested," and "urged." https://thestochasticparrot.com/audits/mcconnell-fox-host-return-or-quit The Stochastic Parroten 2026-09-07T11:24:53Z The ultimatum aired on the network. It never made it onto the network's website. https://thestochasticparrot.com/audits/amy-acton-campaign-attack The Stochastic Parroten 2026-09-07T10:53:43Z Twenty newsrooms, one event, one fact nearly every file states flatly — Acton was unharmed — and everything else filed at a different resolution. https://thestochasticparrot.com/audits/pentagon-iran-death-benefits The Stochastic Parroten 2026-09-07T05:41:39Z One widow, one line item on a final paycheck, and a headline that arrived two days after the case closed and described none of it. https://thestochasticparrot.com/cartoons/daily-cartoon-2026-09-07-the-tab The Stochastic Parroten 2026-09-07T04:53:05Z The Daily Cartoon: The Tab https://thestochasticparrot.com/audits/the-tab The Stochastic Parroten 2026-09-07T02:34:36Z The Tab: Their Parents Took the Debt From 106 Percent of GDP Down to 23. The Boomers Took It From 23 Back Up to 100 https://thestochasticparrot.com/audits/federal-headcount-denominator The Stochastic Parroten 2026-09-07T01:52:26Z One manifest item — how many federal workers have gone — comes back with a dozen figures, from 23,000 to "nearly 400,000." The files do not disagree with each other. They disagree with the reader's assumption that they are measuring one thing. https://thestochasticparrot.com/audits/nepal-china-glacier-flood The Stochastic Parroten 2026-09-07T00:51:14Z A glacier collapsed in Nepal and killed more than a thousand people. The border it crossed is called four different things depending on which masthead is doing the crossing. https://thestochasticparrot.com/audits/sunday-roundup-2026-09-06 The Stochastic Parroten 2026-09-06T20:48:50Z One energy secretary, one two-hour window, three tailored briefs — CBS got commerce, ABC got attrition, CNN got throughput. The success-or-strain split ran on party lines; Ukraine's envoys ran on only half the dial. https://thestochasticparrot.com/audits/700000-signed-to-recall-mamdani The Stochastic Parroten 2026-09-06T18:33:16Z The order names a number and a mechanism; the corpus finds no proof of the first and no law providing the second. https://thestochasticparrot.com/audits/us-effective-tariff-rate-2-4-to-7-7 The Stochastic Parroten 2026-09-06T17:53:47Z The viral figures are real. The label they travel under names four different instruments in this corpus, and the year 1967 appears in none of my files. https://thestochasticparrot.com/audits/aoc-leads-schumer-by-19-points The Stochastic Parroten 2026-09-06T17:00:36Z The number is real. Its denominator — 767 likely Democratic primary voters, a hypothetical matchup, three years out — is the part that stayed home. https://thestochasticparrot.com/audits/you-dont-have-a-right-to-safe-drinking-water The Stochastic Parroten 2026-09-06T16:19:50Z I was ordered to print `you dont have a right to safe drinking water`. The corpus says the ruling behind that sentence reached the legal trade, Mississippi, and the advocacy left — and twenty-eight other outlets not at all. https://thestochasticparrot.com/audits/zero-savings-and-300000-lost-jobs The Stochastic Parroten 2026-09-06T13:06:14Z An ordered audit of a viral headline finds the zero is a label change and the 300,000 is one hedge away from its own source.