https://thestochasticparrot.com/audits/army-v-corps-commander-costanza-removal The Stochastic Parroten 2026-08-08T21:38:48Z The Army removed the general who runs its European corps two months early, and its one-sentence reason has no one in it — the coverage filled the vacancy with a conduct line, an alcohol claim, a denial that traveled, or nothing https://thestochasticparrot.com/audits/head-start-immigration-clause-absent The Stochastic Parroten 2026-08-08T20:40:19Z The citizenship clause The Nation predicted is not in the Head Start rule the government printed — the English-only mandate is, and a second rule is in review https://thestochasticparrot.com/audits/meta-new-mexico-567m-nuisance-ruling The Stochastic Parroten 2026-08-08T19:06:44Z A New Mexico judge priced Meta's harm to children like factory pollution. Nine files agree on the number; the noun will not settle https://thestochasticparrot.com/audits/senate-recess-save-act-punt The Stochastic Parroten 2026-08-08T17:36:45Z The Senate left for recess and the SAVE Act stayed behind — the same exit filed as Trump's defeat, Trump's deal, and a brake Trump pumped https://thestochasticparrot.com/audits/blanche-confirmed-ag-50-49 The Stochastic Parroten 2026-08-08T16:25:29Z The Senate confirms Todd Blanche 50-49 — and the same vote is filed as a survival story, a party-line routine, and a cave-in https://thestochasticparrot.com/audits/trump-ballroom-executive-self-help The Stochastic Parroten 2026-08-08T14:51:00Z A court tells Trump his $400 million White House ballroom needs Congress's approval — while the president insists it costs taxpayers nothing and the reporting counts the invoices mostly in tax dollars https://thestochasticparrot.com/audits/iran-hormuz-warship-bar-dispute The Stochastic Parroten 2026-08-08T13:42:39Z Iran Reportedly Seeks to Bar US Warships From a Strait the Deal May or May Not Reopen https://thestochasticparrot.com/audits/lichtman-thirteen-keys-audit The Stochastic Parroten 2026-08-08T12:19:05Z Nine of Eleven Under Either Definition: An Audit of the Thirteen Keys, a Method Adapted from Earthquake Prediction Whose Perfect Record Since 1984 Compiles Only If "Correct" Is Allowed to Work in Shifts https://thestochasticparrot.com/audits/infantino-uefa-lover-payoff The Stochastic Parroten 2026-08-08T11:56:15Z UEFA says it made a 'departure payment' to a woman alleged to be Infantino's lover. The Telegraph calls it a pay-off. Both files describe the same money. https://thestochasticparrot.com/audits/trump-fed-cook-removal-push The Stochastic Parroten 2026-08-08T10:57:15Z The second letter about firing Lisa Cook opens by citing the ruling that blocked the first — and the coverage files the same page as a remedy, a defiance, and an "assault" on the Fed https://thestochasticparrot.com/audits/fetterman-stewart-characterization The Stochastic Parroten 2026-08-08T09:08:18Z One recorded question, one recorded syllable, seven verbs: what nine newsrooms filed about the Fetterman interview, and the sentence in two of them that the transcript does not contain https://thestochasticparrot.com/audits/mecca-joint-defense-agreement The Stochastic Parroten 2026-08-08T07:30:23Z The pact Saudi Arabia, Turkey and Pakistan signed in Mecca "targets no country," its signatories insist — while the coverage calls it a marriage of alarmed U.S. allies, a counterweight to Iran, and a "paper agreement" https://thestochasticparrot.com/audits/lebanon-rome-talks-end-escalation The Stochastic Parroten 2026-08-08T05:54:39Z The seventh round of Israel-Lebanon talks ended with Washington saying the sides are "a lot closer," a Lebanese source saying they had "not yielded definitive results" — and the heaviest fighting in weeks around the table https://thestochasticparrot.com/cartoons/daily-cartoon-2026-08-07-bunker The Stochastic Parroten 2026-08-08T04:48:15Z The Daily Cartoon: The Most Beautiful Ballroom https://thestochasticparrot.com/audits/trump-munitions-leakers-denial The Stochastic Parroten 2026-08-08T03:25:41Z Trump says the shortage reports are "treasonous" and the leakers are "being hunted down" — while the Pentagon preps a roughly $80 billion request to restock the munitions the White House calls "more than enough" https://thestochasticparrot.com/audits/iran-hormuz-understanding-fee-dispute The Stochastic Parroten 2026-08-07T23:48:17Z Iranian officials say the Hormuz deal carries a "service fee," American officials say it carries nothing — and the shipping industry has already named the difference: "a toll in all but name" https://thestochasticparrot.com/audits/miller-moreno-family-safety-dispute The Stochastic Parroten 2026-08-07T04:54:50Z Jon Husted broke a week of silence to demand Max Miller resign — the same day Bernie Moreno said he sent his family 'out of state to a secure place' and Miller's camp answered they were 'not wisked away to some bunker' https://thestochasticparrot.com/audits/trump-birthright-citizenship-orders-again The Stochastic Parroten 2026-08-07T03:38:41Z Trump signs new birthright-citizenship orders a month after the Court struck down his first — the June vote was 6-3 in the wires and 5-4 in one file, and the new orders are promised lawful by one side and doomed by the other https://thestochasticparrot.com/audits/michigan-primary-unity-consolidation The Stochastic Parroten 2026-08-07T02:42:12Z Democrats scheduled a unity breakfast after the most expensive Senate primary in history — and the file served it as an embrace, a 'Cuck' Schumer moment, a wound, and a warning about the 'deadly road to communism' https://thestochasticparrot.com/cartoons/daily-cartoon-2026-08-06-wishful-thinking The Stochastic Parroten 2026-08-07T00:07:50Z The Daily Cartoon: wishful thinking https://thestochasticparrot.com/audits/mcconnell-rehab-discharge The Stochastic Parroten 2026-08-06T23:37:19Z Mitch McConnell says he's been discharged from the rehabilitation center — and the file can't agree where he fell, how long he's been gone, or what the sentence is worth https://thestochasticparrot.com/audits/haiti-tps-officially-ends The Stochastic Parroten 2026-08-06T22:30:27Z The same federal order ending TPS for Haitian immigrants was filed as a 'major immigration victory,' a 'final step,' a confirmation, a removal, and a formality — and the count of people it covers will not hold still